Fear of commitment 👥
Fear of commitment is a common phenomenon when we meet other people.
But what is the fear of commitment?
Several situations can refer to this.
Femme Actuelle This expression is used when "one of the two partners (man or woman) is afraid to invest in the relationship". For example, he/she refuses to introduce his/her partner to his/her parents, does not want to commit to long-term projects (getting married, having children, living together, going on vacation together...), finds that the relationship "goes too fast", etc.
There is another element that deserves attention. This fear also concerns all individuals who are anxious about living their whole life with the same person. This is due to the current generation of uncertain people who are not used to routine. This creates real imbalances in relationships because the partner is totally devoted to the other person and can suffer from this.
Those who are afraid of commitment feel trapped as soon as the relationship takes a more serious turn. For fear of getting hurt, they may not fully commit to the relationship. Nevertheless, paradoxically, they will rarely make the first move in a breakup.
Where does this fear come from?
Fear of commitment is often rooted in childhood. Indeed, it sometimes comes from violent scenes between parents that the child felt. There are many other reasons. For example a break-up or a divorce This multiplicity of possible factors makes the phenomenon complex, just like these people.
The reasons for this fear can make the commitment-phobic feel that all relationships are doomed to failure. They may even think that the investment is not worth it. He thinks he is repeating a pattern (family, friends, etc.) that is inevitably bad, unhealthy. This idea can therefore cause him anguish.
The person who is afraid of commitment will form a false image of love, for example. He will wait to meet THE perfection to commit himself, a kind of stability. But perfection does not exist, and one must necessarily take a risk in love.
How to overcome this fear?
To get out of it, you have to learn to tame this anxiety. It is important to know that the basis of any fear is actually the fear of what will happen. Our negative thoughts push us to run away from what could hurt us. This is a normal reaction.
If you don't think you are capable of working on yourself, consult a professional (psychologist, psychoanalyst, hypnotherapist, couple therapist...). He will accompany you on your journey. Therapists are trained to do this.
Otherwise, the first thing to do is to recognize your limiting beliefs. Thus, it is possible to determine what are the sources of this fear. To do this, asking yourself questions to understand the source of the problem is the best thing to do:
- What do you think about when this anxiety occurs?
- What is the image that comes to mind?
- What do you automatically think of when you have the opportunity to commit but you balk?
Without this personal approach, no one will be able to help you. It is very difficult to bring someone who is afraid of commitment to their senses. Indeed, this fear goes far beyond the realm of logical reasoning.
The partner of the "sufferer" must also question himself when he is in this situation in order not to suffer:
- Can I live with someone who may not want or be able to commit to me?
- Am I capable or do I want to wait for my partner to overcome his/her fear?
Therapy with the help of a professional is usually quite quick.
See also : The history of dating sites and applications