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Coping with jealousy

How not to be sickly jealous?

In this new article, we will explain everything about jealousy and give you some advice on how to avoid being overwhelmed by this sickly jealousy. 

What is jealousy?

Le Robert defines jealousy as a "hostile feeling that one experiences when seeing another enjoying an advantage that one does not possess or that one would like to possess alone". 

When it refers to love, it also refers to the "painful feeling that the demands of an anxious love, the desire of exclusive possession of the loved person, the fear of his infidelity" give rise to.

In concrete terms, jealousy refers to pessimistic, negative notions. It causes fear and even pain.

Sick jealousy

When this feeling is sickly, too extreme, it is similar to paranoia. In a couple, this unfounded fear of losing the loved one can turn out to be a real nightmare for the couple that suffers it. According to PsychotherapyThe main problem at the heart of this disorder is often a lack of self-confidence, much more than a lack of confidence in one's partner. In addition, another problem is related to this phenomenon An emotional dependence caused by the fear of being alone.

This jealousy destroys many couples or can ruin all your chances to close with your crush. 

The jealousy is a monster that begets itself and is born from its own entrails ~ William Shakespeare

So here are a few tips to keep you in check.

Carimmat's advice to fight against sickly jealousy

To fight against this feeling that destroys us, it is important to change a emotional reaction or a behavior.

You need to convince yourself that the reactions orchestrated by your brain are not real. If you have experienced a past injury or trauma that triggered this jealousy, be aware that it may not be repeated.

Another tip is not to try to forbid things to your crush/partner or he/she will do the opposite and you will be hurt more. 

You should not control anyone. Be aware of one thing: a person who wants to hurt you will. Just as a person who wants to cheat will cheat. Even if you try to ban them from going out or take away some of their freedoms, they will do what they choose to do. You may even turn them against you if you try to control them.

Social networks are also a good way to lose your footing and accentuate jealousy. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by them and control your networking urges. The less time you spend on social networks, the better off you will be.

Last tip, don't go through your partner/crush's phone. It's the worst thing you can do! As we often say, when you snoop, you always end up finding something that hurts you. So save yourself the unnecessary pain and trust yourself. If you start looking through his phone, you will inevitably want to do it again. So never start. 

These tips for overcoming unhealthy jealousy can help you. First and foremost, you must realize that you are destroying yourself and others by doing this. 

Don't hesitate to consult our other articles and tips! 

See for example: The guide to a healthy relationship